Grieving with a Toddler

This is a hard post to write. You may have noticed that R and I haven't been on as many adventures recently. I've talked before on here about my father's illness. At the end of September my dad started having stomach aches. He went to the doctor who sent him to the hospital, and we found out that he had Pancreatic Cancer. After trying different types of chemo, different procedures, all kinds of different things, my dad decided to live his life for quality, rather than quantity. It was so hard seeing my rugby playing, double-black skiing, super active dad go from himself to not being able to walk in a month.

My dad was always very involved in R's life. My parents kept him 2 full days a week, and took him to and from school two other days. My dad took him to his first baseball, football, and basketball games. He bought him his first Tides hat. He talked about taking him skiing, even before he was born.  R's first zoo trip and train ride were with my dad. The thought of him not being around for the rest of his life is unfathomable.

We knew it was coming. So we tried to spend as much time as possible with my dad. We had him record this book, which is lovely and gut wrenching and heartbreaking all at the same time. It's as much a comfort for me as I hope it is for R later in life. 

What do I tell R once he starts to miss him? I guess I tell him the stories, I show him how he looks exactly like him, I tell him all the hopes that my dad had for him. I take him to the places that my dad liked to go, and we visit the places my dad wanted to go, but never made it to. I play him his favorite songs, and imitate his bad dancing skills. 

Another way that we have decided to remember my dad is to participate in the Pancreatic Cancer walk at the oceanfront annually. This year is it on April 22. We knew that my grandma died of this cancer, but didn't know it was genetic. Now that we know the symptoms, we now think that my great-grandmother and great-uncle died of the same thing. It's scary, and I'll have to get tested, but hopefully raising money will help find out more about it. Because it moves so fast and doesn't have symptoms before the fourth stage, there is only a 9% survival rate. If you'd like to learn more about the walk, to sign up for our team, or to donate, click here. Finding a positive source to throw our grief and focus into has been a huge help.

Along with the book above, here are a few resources for children who are grieving:

• Video for kids: http://sesamestreetformilitaryfamilies.org/topic/grief/?ytid=a2VpflpbOmk- 
• "The Invisible String" - A friend gave us this book. It's about how we are all connected, even if a loved one has passed on.
• Article for parents: Saying Goodbye: Talking to Kids About Death
• Display photos of your loved one, and talk about them regularly. If you go to the zoo, show them previous trips with grandpa. Don't be afraid to put them away to make your kid sad. 
• Talk openly and honestly with your children. As a teacher, I know it's important for kids to understand. They don't understand phrases like "at peace", "laid to rest", or "didn't make it." Be honest. "Papa died, so he is no longer alive. The memories that we have will last forever though." 
• Pass on mementoes. We saved my dad's watch for R. It used to belong to my great uncle and was passed down to my dad. 
• Participate in events that you know they loved. We will teach R to ski, take him to baseball games, and have him wear an ODU jersey to feel closer to my dad. 

Nothing makes this easier. With a toddler it's even harder because they don't understand. R looks for my dad. He has been fussy because his whole schedule has been thrown off from all of the changes. And yet, he laughs and smiles, and forces us to do the same. Slowly we will start to put the pieces together. My friends and family have been such a huge support to us. I'll even say that this blog has helped me. It's forced me to get out and try new places. All I can hope for is that R grows up knowing that love that his grandpa had for my mom, for me, Neil and mostly for him. 

“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”

― Anne Lamott

Zumbini

On Saturday morning we checked out a demo class of Zumbini with Mrs. Wendy. The Zumbini theme is "happy hour for you and your baby!" and that's just what it was. It's a program for kids 0-4 that uses music and dance to create some fun.

The class involves several songs. For some you clap, some you dance, in one we were a monkey, alligator, tiger, and lizard. They used drums and other instruments. We shook scarves all around. Wendy, the instructor, has taught Zumbini since 2013 and is also a pediatric physical therapist for Virginia Beach Schools. I felt like she really understood kids and had a passion for teaching this class. I was super impressed that she remembered every kid's name for the welcome and goodbye songs. That's a feat in itself. R is what Wendy called an "explorer," meaning that he isn't always the best at following the group and instead wanted to run around and well... explore. Because of the nature of the class, that was fine. She told us in the beginning that kids will have a wide range of following the class, but that it was okay. As long as they were safe and having fun, things were all good. 

The class is $165 for nine sessions. If you enroll in the class, there is a song book that goes home with you and you get a code for the Zumbini app. When you pay for a session, you'll be able to play the songs from that session on your phone. Each session has about 20 songs. The repetition helps with carryover and learning in the developmental areas.

I also like that the cap for the class is 12 children, so it isn't too overwhelming. Wendy does allow you to try a class upon request before signing up. Her email is wbjkidpt@gmail.com, or you can call 757-268-2604. Classes are at the Virginia Beach School of Rock Thursdays 11:00-11:45, Friday 9:30-10:15, and Saturdays 9:00-9:45 at Oceanfront Yoga. There are promo codes, sibling discounts, and other demos, so keep your eyes open.  

According to their website, they even have a TV show on BabyFirst TV called Zumbinitime. It is on weekdays and Sundays at 10:30, 3:00, and 6:30. On Saturdays it comes on 7:30, 1:30, and 9:30. It's also on Youtube. There is also a Zumbini app that has music and videos on it. 

When we went to the Oceanfront location, we spotted this art across the street. It's part of the ViBe works. (VIrginia BEach) Pretty cool, and worth checking out if you're over there. 

 

The Bounce House

Since we are recently recovering from the snowpocalypse, we have been on the hunt for more indoor places to play. Today we grabbed some friends to check out the Bounce House. This is a review of only the Virginia Beach location.

*Music at the bottom!

We walked in and were greeted immediately by a friendly employee. I was surprised to see that they only had one person working in the entire place. She told us about the toddler price of $5.00. I was impressed that we didn't have to pay for the adults like in some places. There were empty tables for us to put our things and shoe racks for the kids. There was a 3 and under moon bounce with a slide and another more difficult obstacle course like the one  for under 3. The older kids had taller and steeper slides, more obstacle courses, and other moon bounces. In all, there were 11 inflatables. Adults are allowed into these, but only for assistance, not to bounce.

For those who don't like to bounce, and probably where our group spent the most time, was the floor play area. This area has cars, kitchens, trucks (which R found immediately), slides, and other toddler appropriate items. There are couches for parents around also, and you can see some of us took advantage of that.

I thought the website was confusing. The Bounce Houses are privately owned franchises, but the websites are linked. When I clicked on this location, I could see the various specials, but nowhere did it say a price for little ones. The website hasn't been updated since January 2017. This means a full year. Previous to that, the last update was in April 2016. Doesn't seem to be updated frequently. I'd check out their Facebook for more up to date info. It seems to be updated regularly.

Another weird thing is that multiple times on the website it mentions physical activity for kids. However, smack in the middle of the place there was a t.v. with a movie. Several kids were zoned out, staring at the t.v. I know that I'm strict about the television, but I feel like if you want to get kids moving, you've gotta turn it off.

Things to know: 

1. Socks are required;  they do sell them there. 
2. Snacks are sold on the premises. 
3. Bounce House has both birthday party packages and private room rentals. This includes a back room with private bounce houses. 
4. On Tuesdays there is a homeschool special all where kids can get in for $5.50 all day. 
5. Bounce House has a program called Autism Buddies, where parents of children with Autism can drop their children off with a buddy for some bounce time. Website for this is here. 

Although I've liked having the break, I'm glad the snow is melting. These kids need to get back into school so that we don't have make up days until July. Teachers don't want to make up the days either, trust me. In the meantime, we will continue to post indoor ideas of things to do! 

FunVille: VB

*Scroll to the bottom for this post's music! 

We spent the morning with friends at the Virginia Beach Funville playground. The playground is in the Holland Plaza Shopping Center, not too far from Town Center. We arrived right at 10:00 when they opened, and several cars were in the parking lot waiting, but it didn't feel over crowded and we only had to wait a minute to be checked in. 

Toddler Playground:

The 4000 square foot indoor play area has an ocean theme, and it reminded me very much of the old school Discovery Zone. If you're my age- you'll remember some of the signature features; the metal slide, the "speed slide", and such... much of the same items were here. The first floor was what they call their toddler area. With the toddler wristband, they are able to go into the designated toddler playground, but also anything on the ground floor. This includes some climbing areas, a "balance beam" and the ball pit. When the employee told me about the ball pit, I was thinking old school MacDonalds ball pit. But this area is full of soft balls that kids put into machines that throw them into the air, guns to shoot them at one another, and aim for them to get into a top basket which empties and dumps onto the kids. Not what I had imagined, but still fun. 

Opposite from the play area is the Ninja Warrior Course for bigger kids and adults and the bumper cars. There are also a few of the little $1.00 ride cars and trucks. Funville has a kitchen where they serve pretty standard food; see the menu below. They also have several birthday party rooms, and they offer different themed parties. 

Once kids are 34 inches tall, they are allowed to head up on the second floor. Just be aware, parents are not allowed up, which means your little one is going up alone! I know that R wouldn't go up without me, and with him being so little, I'm not sure he is ready to climb that high alone! Once he gets older though, I'm sure he will love it. 

Cost:

• Toddler Play ground- $6.00
• Kids Play ground- $12.50
• 1 Bumper car ride- $5.00
• Ninja Course (unlimited for the day)- $12.50

They also offer different packages with combinations of the different areas. 

Heads up, Mondays- 10% Military discount, Tuesdays- Toddler Tuesdays, for $10.00 you get the play ground, a slice of pizza, and a juice box. Also, be sure to wear socks, as they are a requirement for parents and kids! There are several tables to leave your items at, and I even saw some adults working on computers while their kids played. R and I were both exhausted afterwards... perfect time for a nap! 

The Book Exchange

The Book Exchange was one of our favorite places pre-baby and remains a favorite still. It is great for several reasons. First, all books are half off. Second, you an bring in used CDs, DVD's, Blu-rays, as well as books to trade in for store credit. Third, once a month they do a charity sale for a local charity. During these sales, you can get a box of things for only $7.00. I tell every new teacher that I meet to flock to this. SEVEN DOLLARS for a BOX packed of items. I've built my entire classroom library from these sales. (Note: You can't use store credit for the charity sales, because well... it goes to charity!) They also have lots of local author signings, so follow them on Facebook if you're interested.

 There are a couple ways to get a free book from The Book Exchange:

1. Trade in old stuff for store credit. They will give you a card that you can build on and use whenever; it doesn't have to be the same day. 
2. If your city participates in Recycle Perks, sign up! All you do is list your house, and when you put out your recycle bin  you get credit. Local businesses give incentives to recycle, and The Book Exchange is one of them! (Seriously- if you don't have this you're missing out. There are several free things on here.) You can trade in recycle points for a free kid's book.
3. Study! When students bring their report card in, they can trade their good grades for book credit! 
4. Check their Facebook for their monthly "trade" item. 

We love this place for all of the reasons above, and really where else will you find the MTV Top Hits of 2000 Karaoke CD, but we also love that they have a children's area. In the back of the store you'll find a little padded area with toys, a chalk board to draw on, and a table to read at. R immediately flocks to the trucks. This makes this an easy stop for us. We can take books in to trade, and while they look them over, R can play. I've even sat and read while he played. If you have books, records or videos that you're looking to get rid of, or are looking for somewhere to get out of the house on a rainy day, this is the perfect place. If you're not in Norfolk, they have a brand new location in Virginia Beach. They are located outside of Lynnhaven Mall in the old Volume Records location. If you check it out, let me know how you like the VB location. We haven't made it out there yet.

Check out this book couch. I love it! 

I love this song so much. It feels like the perfect song to snuggle into a book with. I know it's old... but this album is awesome.